Caledonia, You're Calling Me
Hejdå Sverige!
Jeez, I guess it’s been a while since I last posted in here, huh?
So if the title didn’t give it away, I wanted to record my feelings around my decision to leave Stockholm, after almost 4 years in the land of fermented herring, Volvos and dill flavoured everything.
If I’m being honest, it’s hard to compile the last 4 years into a single post. I was a very different person when I moved over here. My life was totally different to what it is today, and this goes beyond the obvious differences. I doubt I’ll fully comprehend how my time here has changed me until I have a little distance on it.
When I moved here with Kara in 2017, we had next to nothing in our pockets and the first few months were quite nerve wracking as we came to terms with the costs associated with living in the middle of the hipster part of town, in a tiny flat that barely gave us any space to sit apart.
Avalanche took good care of me though, and have consistently walked the walk when it comes to their promise to take care of their people. I can think of no better example than their current willingness to let me leave Stockholm, move home and continue working remotely on an indefinite basis.
So that’s what I’ll be doing. Come the end of February / start of March, I’ll be returning home to my family home in Perth. Covid and Brexit obviously make things a little tricky, but if all goes to plan I’ll be back in my childhood bedroom once again, making videogames and making excuses for the posters on my pin-poked walls. There’ll be a couple of weeks where I can’t do anything due to Covid regulations, but after that I’ll be out looking for a new place to sleep and build a home office. I’ve grown quite fond of having my own space since I moved to my current flat in August.
There’s a few reasons why I’ve decided to come home, and considering them has made me confident that this was the right choice for me.
Living in Perth brings me closer to family and a community that I feel like I fit into.
I can afford a much higher quality of life in Perth.
I can begin planning the next stage of my life.
I get to keep my amazing job.
My friends and family will undoubtedly have rolled their eyes as I play the typical Brit abroad, complaining about the food options while simultaneously putting on weight. While part of me does want to add a “Reason 5: Food” to the list, it’s honestly not the biggest problem and I’ve learned to cook a lot of recipes from back home during the last year while I was unable to return home to stock up.
It honestly feels like the best of both worlds, to be able to keep working at Avalanche and to also be able to progress my own personal life goals. Back home, I can afford to save for a mortgage, live in a house bigger than a shoebox and hopefully learn to drive. From there, I am several steps closer to living in a cottage in the middle of nowhere with at least a dog for company.
Land Of Opportunity
TwitchCon Berlin 2019
Sweden has undoubtedly been full of positive experiences for me. I’ve encountered setbacks and things have definitely not been easy, but I am coming home as a much more mature person, a more self-reflective human and an objectively more experienced and capable game developer. When we moved over, we didn’t know how long we’d be staying, and given how much we struggled at first, it looked like a year would be a victory.
I think that for me personally, the welcome I got from my friends and colleagues at Avalanche was a huge part of what kept my morale afloat in those early days. I still vividly remember our first outing was going to see Guardians of the Galaxy 2 with my friend Alisa, who was like the Avalanche welcoming committee. Since then, I’ve developed an amazing group of friends within the studio that I will come back to visit as often as I can. The studio’s fondness for parties has also given me ample opportunities to develop friendships with people I’ve barely even worked with. The collaborative nature of game development and the open and friendly environment inside the Stockholm studio really has helped me to feel like part of the team.
Some Of My Favourite Nerds
The “Sam & Frodo Challenge”
As well as my wonderful friendships built at work, there’s my brothers and sisters that I have met during my time with the Stockholm Berserkers. I recall my first time approaching a Berserkers training session, the day after my 30th birthday in the (surprisingly, alarmingly) hot Stockholm summer sun. Stockholm empties during July, and so the first session I attended was a modestly attended affair, where I was reminded of every single one of the 13 years since I’d last pulled on some rugby boots. The session was painful and humbling, and to be honest, that’s a big part of the rugby experience! It wasn’t long after this that I was playing my first game as a Berserker, scoring my first try in my first game with them and running my first naked lap of the pitch as part of my forfeit.
In the intervening years, I’ve been proud to call myself not only a Berserker, but a coach as well. A lot of trust was put in me, and I got my first proper chance to coach at a ladies training camp on a soggy autumn weekend, where the Berserkers hosted women from Karlstad and Åland. From there, my experience and confidence grew, and with the support of a wonderful rugby family, I got to be a part of the Berserkers Men’s first league victory in 2019, both as a player and a coach.
The adventure of going to Amsterdam for the Bingham cup (see previous blog from 2018) is now pure gold in my memory. At the time it hurt and I was constantly tired, with allergies going insane, but I won’t ever forget the bonds that were forged during that tour.
Postgame.
Vi Ses
Like I said before, it’s really difficult to compress 4 years of living in Sweden down to a few pages. I am extremely sorry that due to Covid it’s not possible for me to host a going away party, but I hope you know that this isn’t goodbye forever. I will be back to visit when I can, and I will be just as keen as ever to hug and laugh and joke with you all. Don’t be strangers, and know that once I’m all set up, I will gladly accommodate guests that want to visit and explore the highlands with me.
To all my friends and family back home in Scotland, know that as soon as it’s safe to do so, I’ll be coming to hug all of you.
Imported Viking - Returning To Sender